Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting, or changing one letter - and supply a new definition.


 The winners are:

 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of
time.

 2. Ignoranus :  A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

 3 Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize that it was your money to start with.

 4. Reintarnation:  Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

 5. Bozone (n.):  The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.

 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.

 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.

 12. Karmageddon :  It's like when everybody is sending off all these
like really bad vibes, and then the Earth like explodes and it's a
serious bummer.

 13. Decafalon (n.):  The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.

 14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

 15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you  rapidly.

 16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

 18. Caterpallor (n.):  The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.